Monday, October 17, 2005

I am a "Bad Mother"

My boy tends to be very talkative nowadays. I enjoy “chatting” with him and it brings so many joys to me. I also jot down some funny conversation between us in my blog here and here to share my joys with other reader. Until one day, someone commented in my blog that confuse me.

At October 15, 2005 6:07 AM, Anonymous said…

as a mother, you have to realise that speaking to him in full sentences is very important.
a child his age is very easily influenced by his parents. make sure you speak full english or full chinese sentences to him.
he should not be growing up in a family environment where singlish is frequently used.

Although I know he is absolutely right but, somehow, I not fully agreed with him. Recall the time when I was still a new mother, my MIL told me that she read an article from newspaper (I failed to trace back the article from internet) saying that we should use more kiddo words to communicate with our baby/toddler. For examples like sleep = oiin oiin, urinate = shh-shh, past motion = umh umh, milk = nen-nen, etc.

”He should not be growing up in a family environment where singlish is frequently used.”

Must I speak full Chinese/English sentences to my toddler?
BTW, I watch my nephews and nieces growing up in this kind of environment which singlish/manglish is widely used. Do not care they are English Ed or Chinese Ed; I can proudly tell that they all scored distinction in their English subject, and not bad in Chinese subject too.

All I want to do now is to encourage my boy to speak more and provide a friendly speaking environment for him. I believe that we cannot have friendlier environment when pure English/Chinese sentences is in use. Yes they might understand if we speak full English/Chinese sentences but, I doubt he won’t speak as soon as he will tend to be worried too much on the words he have to use in speaking.

Anyway, please correct me if u feels that my thinking is very wrong.


mumsgather said...

I think that commenter was talking crap. I'm proud of my singlish but I can easily revert to proper English when the occassion calls for it. No problems at all. I think when it comes to bringing up our children there is no need to do everything "by the books". Just let them grow up in a natural environment and provide them with the love and nurturing they need to thrive as well as the education they need to succeed later on in life and there is no need to worry about how our speaking in Singlish/Manglish or whatever it is that we speak at home will affect them. Thats my 2 sens.

domesticgoddess said...

there is no right or wrong way. You are the mother, do what you think is right for your child. Babies will go through different developmental stages in their lives, and the comprehension is different at different stages too. Speaking with full sentences will come naturally for them when they are ready, don't worry.

Egghead said...

there may be some truth in the comment... however...

firstly, teaching a child with a full sentence make the learning process steep, hence "no pain no gain".

secondly, teaching short speech (whatever the language, even sign language) make the learning process faster and easier.

In the end of the day, teaching a children to express themselves if very important when they have not master the skill to speak. The faster method of teaching will enable children to express themselves earlier in the childhood. Especially when they are in pain, not feeling well or unhappy about something.

I don't suppose a 1-2 year old child will know how to say "Mommy, I am sorry, but I think I have a pain in the my left arm, and a rash on my chest." huh?

AsleyLee said...

Shiau Lin,

I agree on what you said.
The practices in my family is exactly the same with you. I like to use some childish words when communicating with Jo.
1. milk : nen-nen
2. porridge/other meals : mum-mum
3. sleep : oi-oi
4. pee : shee-shee
5. poo : uhm-uhm
6. bath : pong-pong

Either i say milk or nen-nen, Jo is able to catch up my meaning, so i think childish words really no harmful to nowadays toddler. Since i also grew up in this environment.

So far i think my boy still has excellent progress even he isn't an enthusiastic talker. I didn't practise one language to him but in multiple languages. Toddlers at this age is superb multilingual recorder, i speak non-proper languages to him in English, Mandarin, Cantonese and Hakka to him. Some of my friends told me that, this jumbled up languages will delay his speech ability, but from what i've researched, toddlers can be spoken well in different languages once they able to master those jumbled languages in more older age.

Selba said...

I agree 100% with domesticgoddess. Lin, I believe you are a good mother and know exactly what is the best for your little boy :)

shiaulin said...

Thank you everyone for leaving here your great opinion and very own thought as my consult. That’s one thing I love about blogging, at least I know I’m not alone to face the “don’t-know-what-to-do” or “do I right/wrong” situation.

MG, you are always knowledgeable and a "model mom" to me, I am glad to hear that advise and statement from u. Now I feel relieved with what I am doing in the past.

DG, cos I am a new mother, that’s why I seek for others’ advice and opinion sometimes. However, I think u are right, “Babies will go through different developmental stages in their lives, and the comprehension is different at different stages too.” good statement and I’ll bear this in my mind forever.

egghead, yes my boy now very good in expressing himself that really helps a lot. He pain he can say 痛痛, if he feel full he will say 饱饱, and when he fall down he say 跌倒. It’s great right?

huisia, yes me too trying to say more than one language to Xuan, and he really pick up fast.

selba, thanks for your re-assurances. Yes, I want the best for my boy.

maria said...

wha...if really listen to what the anonymous said, then I am the super duper bad mom lor...
I can't say what he said was 100% crap, he has his point...however...(sound satu macam with egghead) for a 1-2 year old we can't use some "chim" language right? I used all the childish words to my girls, but now they almost three can easily understand the proper words.
I don't think I will use nen-nen when the girls go to primary school right?
so I think no worry, our kids grow up will just like their mommy and daddy mah.

shiaulin said...

Maria, after hearing/reading so many feedbacks from mummies and daddy, I clearly know what to do already.

BTW, Xuan sometimes says “drink milk-milk” instead of “nen-nen”. That’s not a bit deal to speak singlish/manglish to him at his age now as he is slowly picking up proper words and the result is quite satisfaction. Truly say, I am much relieved.

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